Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
