I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
