oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
