I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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