I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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