How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
