i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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