There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
