as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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