I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
