idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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