Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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