Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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