If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
