it's too hot outside to masturbate.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
