she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
