I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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