The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
