My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize