we're blogging at a bar
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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