At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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