So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
