yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
