I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
