She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
