What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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