She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize