i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
