im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
