I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
