it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
