Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I want a musical about memes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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