I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I smell like Dick and happiness
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
