As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
