benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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