I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
