How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
