he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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