is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
