dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
