Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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