i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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