Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
