Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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