i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
