your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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