Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.

(404): View more from Georgia

you should get a family discount.

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(214): View more from Texas

What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

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(740): View more from Ohio

i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation

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(207): View more from Maine

Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.

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(214): View more from Texas

So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.

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(636): View more from Missouri

You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?

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