But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
