he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
