why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize