dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
