the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
