Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
