guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
