He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
