Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
