Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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