Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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