M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize