real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
