you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
