New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
