I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
